A Little at a Time

I'm really struggling with self-image. I need to stop this behavior like right now! I have a 7 year-old little girl who watches and mimics me. I don't think I've ever looked into a mirror and smiled or said something positive about myself:( I really don't want my beautiful little girl to be this way. 


This behavior must change. I need to figure out where that balance is. I've heard some people just focus on one feature that they're happy with or a particular part of their body that they like. Ummm, yeah. Can't really do that. I've got a new body after these kids. And it's not a pretty one if ya know what I mean! And 5 years after my 3rd pregnancy, I still can't 'embrace' it. Please don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for anything. The gift and joy of having my children far surpasses my issues of feeling upset with an ugly tummy. And I wish it could just end there, but surprise, I'm a woman. 


Here's the thing: We eat well and exercise mainly to be healthy and for overall improved quality of life. We pull up and push up weights, squat and run, sweat and ache, prepare and cook. We eat, breathe and live in a re-vamped world where our focus is on well-being. Obviously, things are going to change in a positive way. Our bodies are healthier, our minds are sharper. 


So, when am I going to see enough changes in my physical appearance? When is it that I'll be satisfied when I see myself naked? When will the moment come when I see just ONE positive thing in the mirror? I don't think it will happen until some deeper changes are made. I'm at this point, no better than people who have multiple plastic surgeries in search of perfection. And who the HECK do I think I am anyway?? There is no one out there that I need to impress. NOT ONE PERSON. So why does this chew up so much of my focus!?! 


I sound ridiculous, I'm aware. I'm just eagerly awaiting that peace of a positive self-image. When am I gonna grow up in this area? I recently had my husband throw out our scale. That was a HUGE thing for me to give up. You see, I've got a touch of OCD. I would weigh myself multiple times per day, KNOWING that I'd be upset by the end of any given day. Setting myself up for a let-down. I finally confessed my psycho behavior and got some help. Something that seemed so impossible to me in my cycle of wanting, expecting, and actually 'needing' to fail in order to stay motivated (sick, I know), was a total no-brainer for my husband. Thank God that he cares about me and also cares FOR me. 


So what's next? Will I need to resort to throwing out my full-length mirror? After all, if you don't have something nice to say...










A few questions for you: If you've been eating clean, how long did it take for you to reach your weight loss goals? Did you automatically experience a better self-image?